THE Agency.

DREW’s been dead for a few months now. THE Agency, where he worked, needs a replacement fast. THE boss, and THE manager discuss the latest candidate, PAIGE, and how she’ll fit into their PR agency for supervillains.

Paige is having a rough week – she’s supporting the prosecuting team on a super-villain case. Not guilty. And the team gets blown up to boot, adding injury to insult. Paige accidentally escapes the multiple explosions and THE boss notices. With a persistent super-villain threatening to try again, Paige takes the job that conveniently offers her sanctuary from all supers. Once she reads THE rulebook for THE Agency, though, she’s not sure the protection is worth it. THE Agency (Ten Helping Evil) not only helps supervillains with their logos, costumes and catchphrases, but also builds hideouts, weapons and vehicles of doom. Thankfully, there is another page to the handbook that states that THE Agency is also Ten Hindering Evil – secretly sabotaging all their clients for decades.

Paige is given the task of updating everyone’s HR file as a way to quickly get to know her comrades and how THE Agency works. She starts with her boss and gets roped into a prospective-client meeting. The would-be villain gets scared straight by THE manager and Paige gets a firsthand view of just how THE Agency keeps villains in check while maintaining their cover as evil themselves.

She moves on to THE boss, but he’s a mystery to everyone. There’s an ongoing contest between all the employees to see who can get the most correct theories about their mysterious leader before he actually shows up in person. No one knows him, but everyone knows the legends of him.

She then works with THE graphic designer, MARK, and his cursed letterpress printer. He’s a wealth of stories and posters. Every member of THE Agency is cursed thanks to an ex-client and his massive antique printer. They can never say the number ‘eight’ without bringing eight hours of deadly bad luck on their own heads. He also explains that he is only the latest Mark, it’s more a title than a name. Everyone there has given up who they used to be to serve the greater good by being unsuccessfully bad.  In life, death and beyond, once you’re a member of THE Agency, you’re a member for all eternity. Going through his file, it looks like THE designer is also mildy responsible for creating a micro-black hole on one of the lower levels.

From there she interviews THE mechanic, a lady with the face of a 110-year-old, the tattooed right arm of a college-football-player and the brain of a NASA engineer before her first coffee. She shows Paige more ways they keep evil from being too bad by talking a client out of a thousand and one weapons in his new getaway car – for his own safety. She makes anything that rolls, floats or flies and sometimes all three at once.

THE writer has no time for Paige as he constantly fields the phone calls from all the media sources. But she ends up getting his story from THE contractor once he accidentally says ‘eight’ in one of his measurements and gets quarantined – with nothing but time on his hands. THE writer’s story featured a surprising number of flame throwers.

THE field researcher is next on Paige’s list, but her story comes through as a series of postcards describing the misadventures of the one employee sent out to stop villains before they can become ‘super.’ She glimpses alien artifacts and powerful voodoo dolls and everything in between.

THE resident mad scientist takes some time to pin down, but finally agrees to a rushed interview and a tour of the many galleries of rays he’s created over his tenure. He’s a manic fellow determined to unravel reality every day and maybe a couple more times if he can unfreeze the frozen time cubes in his fridge.

THE fashion designer is more interested in designing a client-appropriate costume for Paige than answering her standard questions.

In all, Paige settles into a chaotic, but sustainable rhythm until the night a news story breaks the evening argument of what movie to watch in THE dorms.

Drew is alive.

Not only that, but he’s started his own Agency that obviously isn’t sabotaging the villains. The news is covering the death of a superhero when a bomb lands on THE Agency itself. In the aftermath, THE boss, STANLEY, arrives to lead his team against this terrible threat. He has a plan. It requires that he die, that Paige dies and that the mad scientist attempt to betray them all. It was a Stanley plan. THE plan. The straightforward and logical ideals of Drew have no chance against the Rube Goldberg machinations of THE Stanley. As much as no one liked it, they all agree.

THE scientist offers to join Drew. Drew visits what remains of THE Agency to pick him up personally and gloat. On seeing Stanley in the flesh, Drew sees his opportunity to wipe out his competition and shoots. Paige pushes Stanley out of the way and is fatally wounded. Before anyone can react, Drew takes another shot and Stanley is gone too. The scientist refuses to go with Drew after the bloodshed. Drew shrugs and leaves, hoping they all have their affairs in order.

At the funeral there are two coffins, and eight employees paying their respects (with a Mayan blood stone, an A-class rocket pack, voodoo dolls, flame throwers, a super suit for an ice super, three trays of frozen time, the cursed printer, and the micro-black hole). Everything is going according to plan. A very much alive Stanley and Paige watch expectantly from THE Agency’s moon base as THE manager leads the proceedings, then finishes with the announcement that she and the rest of the team are going to end the world.

Drew scoffs that the ten would never do such a thing, then arrogantly corrects himself since they are no longer ten – they’re eight.

The curse takes effect.

All those mementos brought to the ceremony to honor Stanley and Paige turn themselves on Drew in the most vicious bout of bad luck in human memory. As the time-frozen, flayed and magically-vaporizing Drew is pulled into space via the rocket pack, Stanley and Paige use their coffins to teleport back to earth and THE Agency is happily reunited in front of their previously-doubtful clientele. Stanley announces that THE Agency will be moving (to the aforementioned moon base) and that he hopes to see all his favorite clients at their grand re-opening. Paige now has quite a bit to add to everyone’s files.