Curse of Snishwimble.

ARTIE wants to be an artist. He practices drawing and painting every night. Little does he know that his hard work has put him on a goblin’s ‘to-torment’ list. The goblin causes him to violently sneeze his entire nights’ work into an inky mess. After a few more explosive sneezing fits, Artie finally catches the goblin, but that doesn’t make things better.

Lord SNISHWIMBLE, the goblin, is none too thrilled about being caught. His job is to stop artists and would-be artists by blowing their work to oblivion with his patented sneezing powers. This is just his job, though. He’d much rather be with his true love or trying to convince his overbearing family to let him marry her. And there are rules for goblin nobility, like needing twelve approving family signatures on the marriage license. Another rule is that if a goblin gets caught, someone is getting cursed.

Snishwimble decides to give Artie a chance out of typhoon sneezing for the rest of his life. If Artie can get the twelve approvals for his marriage in two weeks, Artie’ll be forever immune to Snishwimble’s powers. That assumes he can survive the two weeks, of course.

The first few nights bring aunts and a great uncle that are easily convinced to approve the wedding. Their powers range from squeezing objects into places they just don’t fit, making technology go haywire, making their victims feel overwhelmingly tipsy and drying out every liquid in the vicinity. Artie discovers how to ward against these goblins and their powers as he muddles his way through, so he begins writing this book to help save others from his messy fate.

On night five Artie faces another uncle. Completely against the match, he makes a bet with Artie. His power is to make a person completely forget about the time. He holds their exhaustion until a moment of his choosing, then gives it back to them all at once. When Snishwimble came to introduce the next family member, Artie was barely able to win their bet before passing out.

The next night brings a goblin whose forgetfulness is contagious, and the one after that finally brings a friend. Snishwimble’s brother gives advice on how to handle the rest of the family. He wants them to succeed because he was the one that first introduced Snishwimble to his would-be fiancée. He knows they were made for each other.

Night nine brings Snishwimble’s great-grandmother who has the power to multiply anything including words. She was only against Snishwimble’s wedding because she thought he would go off and forget about her. In a very repeated plea, Artie convinces her that Snishwimble’s love won’t just vanish because he moves, but might even increase when he starts a family of his own and gets to introduce his children to their great great granny.

On the tenth night there is a war. Snishwimble’s grandfather, the king, decides to spread his empire to – the space under Artie’s bed. Thankfully, Artie was prepared for just such an occasion. Using the worst possible acting, Artie is defeated by an army of adorable dust bunnies. Becoming the steward of this new province, Artie flatters the king’s generosity and convinces him to spread it to his grandson, which leads to the next approval.

The mad duchess visits next. She has the miserable ability to make anyone doubt themselves, making them hopeless and depressed. Artie painfully takes on those powers three times. Artie almost agrees to giving up on his dreams of becoming an artist but is saved by a note given to him the night before – the king didn’t want anyone invading his new province, even his older sister. Artie calls the duchess a troll and she leaves in a huff. No approval will be coming from her though.

The twelfth night brings the crown prince, who is already steaming at both Snishwimble and Artie for the way the duchess was treated the night before. Snishwimble bets the prince that his new human friend can somehow overcome the prince’s prodigious powers and if so, the prince must approve the marriage. The prince agrees and instantly attacks Artie with his bullying. He can turn a person’s anger up on high, making them destroy their own things in a terrible tantrum. At first Artie is lost, but a sudden idea – ear plugs – gets him through the night and the bet.

The last two nights bring Snishwimble’s parents. His mom’s powers affect pets, namely Artie’s hibernating tortoise. Together the goblin and tortoise go sprinting through the room at breakneck speed, only to be stopped by tortoise treats. Snishwimble’s father would not be so easily defeated. He thinks Snishwimble has too many responsibilities already and ruling a realm on top of them would simply be too much. To illustrate his point, he starts adding responsibilities to Artie’s life: a blinking check engine light, a tax audit, an overdue root canal… Eventually he adds a misdelivered present for Artie’s mom’s birthday and Artie loses it. The goblins can do all they want to him, but they will not bring in his family. He explains how his own family is like the goblins. They don’t always get along – but, for the most part, they all want the best for each other. And if Snishwimble ever got in over his head, there was no doubt that his family would turn the world upside down to help him. The goblin fixes the birthday present and is touched by Artie’s mom’s reaction. He thinks about what Artie says and vanishes.

The next night, Snishwimble returns with the biggest smile in history. He bounces around congratulating Artie and himself, and announcing that Artie is now immune to the sneezing curse. He is also on a new list that makes it impossible for the goblins to visit him after this. But as a last favor, Snishwimble asks Artie to visit him instead, at the wedding. Artie happily agrees.